i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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