areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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