You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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