when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
wow bdsm is so cute
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize