He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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