ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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