i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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