There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Who died my cat blue again?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize