ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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