piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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