Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
whose parrot is this?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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