I love black thongs
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize