i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
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Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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