I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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