turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize