Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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