new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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