i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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