well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
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Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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