my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize