That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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