I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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