I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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