I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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