He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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