is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize