hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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