No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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