We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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