She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize