Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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