whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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