You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Congratulations! We have a period
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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