I didn't shave. On purpose
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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