I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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