Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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