I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize