My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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