It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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