Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize