I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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