I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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