how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
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Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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