I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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