you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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