"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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