i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
How's work?
Spinning.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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