let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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