Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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