Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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